Geek Speak – Upper Peninsula Odyssey, pt. 1: Always Swim with a Buddy

by Daniel

During the last week of July 2011, I went on a road trip with my girlfriend from the middle of Michigan’s Lower Peninsula (Lansing) to the tip of the Keweenaw Peninsula (Copper Harbor) in the Upper Peninsula. 1,300+ miles were driven, hundreds of photos were taken, and dozens of Michigan beers were drank. Hilarity and misadventures ensued.

I am a fan of the Great American Road Trip.

I blame my father. In my teenage years, Dad would plan “mystery vacations,” which were road trips where only he knew our points of interest and final destination. Most of these surrounded around, as he put it, “dead presidents”–we would visit the grave or tomb of a Commander in Chief who had, to use the Monty Python vernacular, “ceased to be.”

This July, I planned a week long voyage to, and across, Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. Joining me on this trek, was my girlfriend Stephanie, because we all need a co-pilot, or more specifically a navigator. Her smartphone quickly became the MVP of this trip, thanks in part to Google Maps and her Yelp app.

Anyway, enough preamble–let’s boogie. Day One – Sunday, 7/24/11

After our stop at the Michigan Welcome Center in Clare (on 127-North), Steph asked if we could make a slight detour to visit her old summer camp, Mystic Lake. She not only attended the camp, but was a counselor.

I never went to summer camp as a teen, but I feel as if it was a big part of my childhood thanks to summer camp documentaries such as Camp Candy, Salute Your Shorts, Ernest Goes to Camp, summer camp slasher movies, and the Meatballs franchise. Part of me feels a bit cheated, but then my not going to summer camp allowed me to spend many hours playing Earthbound for Super Nintendo and not talking to girls, instead of interacting with other teens at a camp or learning what a training bra looked like.

Mystic “Don’t Call Me Crystal” Lake looked like every summer camp I had seen on a screen: a mess hall, living quarters, and a swimming dock. The “buddy tag” system caught my eye.

“Buddy tags?” I asked. I read the rules painted on a large sign by the dock. It stressed only touching your own buddy tag, which amused me.

Steph said, “You don’t mess with the buddy tags.”
“Noted,” I said, wondering if this was ever turned into some manner of camp-centric pick-up-line (“Hey babe, wanna mess with my buddy tags?” or “I’d give anything to mess with her buddy tags”), which I floated by Steph. She rolled her eyes.

We walked past a weathered boat house, which had a flotilla of boats and canoes older than I. “Was there where everyone snuck out to at night to make out?” I asked.

Steph laughed, “Maybe, but there were much better places.” I didn’t press the subject. Steph led me to a series of tree-house like living quarters. Each “house” was named after an animal, something I’m sure the Harry Potter fans enjoyed.

Steph pointed to one of the houses. “I used to live there.”
“Beaver House?!”
“All of the senior girl counselors lived in Beaver House.”
“…Wow.” Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.

We continued North, and stopped for lunch at Spike’s Keg-o-Nails in Grayling, which Steph found via her Yelp app. We shared an order of soft pretzels (with mustard, yum) and split one of the “famous” Spike burgers. It was worth the stop for the food and the people watching–a canoe race was starting on the nearby river, so Spike’s was flooded with folks wearing team t-shirts.

Dad’s side of the family has a cabin in Gaylord, which would be our stopping point for the evening. But, since Gaylord is only an hour from the Mackinac Bridge, we decided to drive up to the St. Ignace area and take in a few sights.

But, no trek to the Bridge is complete without a stop at Sea Shell City. It is a gift shop filled with all kind of sea-themed items, and the several hundred pound “killer” giant clam.

It also houses a few other interesting items, like a pickled octopus, which looks like some manner of eldritch abomination one would find in a classroom at Miskatonic University.

Post-Sea Shell City, we crossed the Bridge to the Upper Peninsula. We had hoped to stop at the Weird Michigan Wax Museum, but it was closed and for sale. We walked down the street to the Mystery Spot, but opted for the Maze in the Woods instead, as both of us had already visited the titular Spot. After paying for maze tickets in the Mystery Spot gift shop, we inspected some of the Mystery wares.

“A Mystery Spot hoodie would be fun,” said Steph.
“You know what they should really sell?” I said.
“What?”
“Women’s underwear with Mystery Spot written on them. With a big question mark on the crotch. Those would sell like earplugs at a Rebecca Black concert.”

Steph walked away. Quickly.

While venturing through the maze, I tried to remember an episode of Batman: the Animated Series, where the Batman said there was some kind of rule to mazes. I kept going left–which did lead us out. Cartoons saved the day again (related, ask Steph to tell you the “Aviary of Doom Episode” story).

Our next stop was the deer ranch down the road on US-2. We got to pet fawns, and feed white-tailed deer carrots–including white white-tailed deer and albino white-tailed deer (there is a difference).

Our last stop was a sight seeing tower/gift shop place. It favored sea shells as a decoration.

It is the type of place where you pay a couple bucks to climb a tower to get a nice view of the Mackinac Bridge. Totally worth it.

The shop appeared to be quite OK with graffiti on the staircase and tower walls. Nearly every available inch was covered. Steph added our initials to the collection, thanks to my trusty Hayner Pen. Van Halen and Poison fans appeared to frequent the tower.

Tired and hungry, we returned to Gaylord for dinner at Gobblers (home of great turkey dinners) and to rest up for tomorrow’s adventure: Mackinac Island.

–

Daniel J. Hogan is the geek half of Ginger and the Geek. He is also a photoblogger and host of the Magic of Eyri Podcast. He finally saw what a bra looked like in his mid-twenties. Follow him on Twitter, @danieljhogan.