Geek Speak – Upper Peninsula Odyssey, pt. 5: Are You Drinking With Me Spider-Jesus?

by Daniel

During the last week of July 2011, I went on a road trip with my girlfriend from the middle of Michigan’s Lower Peninsula, to the tip of the Keweenaw Peninsula in the Upper Peninsula. 1,300+ miles were driven, hundreds of photos were taken, and dozens of Michigan beers were drank. Hilarity and misadventures ensued.

Day 5 – July 28, 2011

[The title of this post is a reference to a song by that modern day bard, Mojo Nixon. - Ed.]

Leaving Marquette in our wake, Steph and I continued our pilgrimage toward the twin jewels of the Keweenaw Peninsula, Houghton-Hancock. Our first stop was the Da Yoopers Tourist Trap, which is free (and has bathrooms). It is a collection of humorous outdoor exhibits which poke fun at Yoopers and tourists. You can find it near Ishpeming, which has the best high school team in all Creation: the Hematites.

At said Tourist Trap, I picked up a bag of Trenary Toast: thick slices of dry Cinnamon toast, which will last until Doomsday (give or take a week). “It’s sort of like lembas in Lord of the Rings,” I told Steph. A blank stare. “Uh, forget it…” Pro Tip: dunk your Trenary Toast in coffee or milk.

On our way toward Baraga, I spotted the sign for the Canyon Falls Roadside Park and decided I needed a break from driving. Am I glad I did.

You need to see this place. This was my first (but not last) “Wow!” moment of the trip. The trail kept leading us further into the forest, where we did see the titular falls–and so much more.

But the falls did not show up all at once, we had to work our way down the path and were treated to some great views of the river.

Like this waterfall foam, uh, ring. It just kept spinning, and spinning, and spinning, and spinning.

This is the stuff which really blew my mind–I did not expect to see such rock formations. On our trip down the trail, we were joined by a guy in a suit and tie–perhaps on his lunch break–he told us: “This was going to be a National Park, but then World War II happened and they never got around to it.”

The falls were very pretty, but I was more impressed by the canyon walls and rock formations which surrounded us. Steph climbed out onto a ledge and built a little rock tower (see photo above). I wonder if it is still there?

I was in awe of the whole place. Too bad our serene moment was ruined by a woman on her cell phone: “I’m on a hike. A hike! NO A HIKE! H-I-K-E! HIKE!” Sigh. But, Fate did me a solid a few moments later. A ways back into the falls, we came across what looked like the evidence of a picnic, but in fact a trio of 20-something bikini clad girls were swimming in the river. Huzzah!

The increasing heat caused us to seek the shelter of my car’s AC and we continued on toward Houghton-Hancock. But, we had one more side trip: The Shrine of the Snowshoe Priest, aka “Spider-Jesus.”

This thing is huge. 60 feet tall. The shrine of Bishop Baraga earns the “Spider-Jesus” nickname because of the cloud platform he is standing on–which is supported by the four curved beams you see there. It is quite the sight.

This was another “Wow!” moment–and the second of the day. We basked in the awesomeness of the shrine before making the last leg of the trip. And let me tell you, I was NOT ready for the roads in Houghton-Hancock. One way streets! Big hills! Bigger hills! After a few days of two-lane flat roads, it was a bit much. We tried to drive to the Library for lunch, but, after I crossed the bridge and ended up in Hancock, I decided to just go back to the hotel and park–which took some time, thanks to the aforementioned one way streets. The drive over the bridge was nice, however.

We ended up walking to Keweenaw Brewing Company in hopes of lunch, but quickly learned they did not serve food. I gave the bartender my best (worst) “I’ll be back,” and ventured to the Library. A flight of microbrews was ordered, and every thing was right in the world. Good food, too.  This is where we first learned: you can drink for cheap in the Keweenaw Peninsula. I think this flight cost us maybe $5.

As promised, we returned to Keweenaw Brewing Company for our second round of samples. Let’s back up for a second here though: Houghton has two microbreweries about a block away from each other. How amazing is that? Very. How cheap are pints at KBC? Very.

I’m already a fan of KBC, so it did not take any arm twisting to get me to visit. It was a bit odd drinking KBC out of a glass though, as I usually only get it in cans here in Lansing.

Our adventures did not end there either–we walked, at least a mile or so, up hill, both ways, to a gift store so Steph could search for some greenstone jewelry. Which ended up being too expensive. Hooray. But, our travels were not totally in vain. We stopped at the Doghouse and, as recommended by a friend, had a pickled egg (with another beer).

I was a bit, shall we say, concerned about eating such a thing. I have only ever seen pickled eggs in the likes of Simpsons episodes at Moe’s Tavern. But, this whole trip was an adventure, food included. I followed my friend’s eating advice to the letter: “Bite off the tip. Add hot sauce, jalapeno pepper. Eat. Don’t have more than two.” I did not inquire as the reason for the limited consumption, but I was happier not knowing. Our bartender gave us the history of the Doghouse, which was a gorgeous old bar in the Historic Douglas House. I love bars (and restaurants) with 100+ years of history.

Later, after visiting a few shops, one of which employed a very helpful local gal, we partook in the hotel’s (basement) hot tub and pool. This time, we did not have to tell anyone open it first. We dined downtown, and managed to catch the sunset. Somewhere in the distance, the bag pipes were played. No lie.

Next: Adventures Beneath the Surface of the Earth, a Moscow Mule, Copper Harbor, and more.

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Daniel J. Hogan is the geek half of Ginger and the Geek. He is also a photoblogger and host of the Magic of Eyri Podcast. Seriously, it is so cheap to drink there. Follow him on Twitter, @danieljhogan.